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Camp Writing - E-portfolio

Dear Mum & Dad

My heart was racing! While I was flying through the air I started to relaxes and I let go. As I looked t all the tiny people below me i started to think how high am I? As I looked around and saw the top of camp it looked amazing!! Soon the crew started to lower me down I was desperate to go again. As I was wonder if i should do the missile or the semi-circle. I realized I was too scared to do either of them so I took a risk and did a semi-circle even though i was scared i still found it fun!!

Now it's 7.30pm and its time to do the blind trail!!!

There are three people in front of me …..  2 minutes later ….. Oooooo its my turn. As i start to put on my blindfold all i see is pitch black I start walking and i hear ouch bang ahh my heart starts racing as i start to worry about the things in front of me!! On my way through the track I bang my head and hurt my fingers !!! “Ahh,Ohh ,Ow”  I Say said through the hole track.. Finally I can take off my blindfold ‘gosh’ ‘that was sweaty we go back to the hall and play duck duck goose! Be right back got”em sorry i was the goose “sad” “I only got to be the goose once” I nearly slipped through that time of being the goose though!!!

“Yay”!! My fav activity Tree climbing.!! I was in two groups but never got to the top and then i went up by myself and touched the top/chain yay!!!That was camp

From presley


Teacher Comment: Presley, I like the way you have used a range of different sentence types in your writing and have chosen some descriptive words to make your writing more interesting. Your next step is to edit and recraft your writing to make sure it makes sense.